Simplicity

Happy New Year!

2012-01-11T23:43:00.007+08:00

Firstly, HAPPY NEW YEAR!! Too bad i'm 12 days late. hehheh

Lets start with some reflections about 2011.

[in no chronological order]

The pros:

Graduated
Gained lots of working experience
Made really good friends at uni
Became better friends with my workmates
Went to Vietnam (finally)
Km&Dan came to Melbourne for a long holiday (3 months)
Got back with J
J came to Melbourne (again)
Celebrated New Year with one of my best friends -first time in Melbourne too
Rediscovered my passion for fine dining (Il Solito Posto, The Italian, France-Soir, Longrain)
Fell in love with breakfast (St Ali, Dukes, Proud Mary, Mart 130, Mocha Joe)
Tried my first macaron (La Belle Miette)

The cons:

Broke up with J
Spend a little too much on cheap wine/ciggs
Worried about unnecessary things in life

Life is good, so far...so i decided to start 2012 with a BANG!

For example, I have:

Cut out excessive drinking (Excused on my birthday - I chucked 3 times!)
Completely stopped smoking including those occasional social puffs
Lost a whole heap of weight (3kgs!) -Though i might have gained it back by lashing out on $13, 300g steak DAYUM!

So anyway, J's just left but he was down in Melbourne for New year and my birthday. I was uber excited because I got to celebrate the New Year with Karren and it was my/our first time watching fireworks in Melbourne. The fireworks was terrible though. I felt it didn't have enough 'pizzazz' to light up the sky -so to speak. But my birthday was awesomest! I felt i truly accomplished something this year even though it was not spent with Km (Don't judge me!). Yes, I planned everything and even had a theme, bought a sailorette costume and everything. Worst I thought nobody was gonna show and it would have been just Karren, J and I but almost everyone came so it was awesome fun (lest the vodka shots) -which is mainly the reason why i chucked 3 times. I also had pre-birthday drinks with my workmates -that was swell too. I got many gifts (Longchamp baggie from J, 2 bracelets from my workmates and macarons from my good friends) and had the longest talk with Km while J was in the toilet which sorta made up for the fact that we didn't celebrate our birthdays together (first time in 4 years!) -thats okay though cz we are having a tea party mad hatter style (trust Km).

So all in all my Jan bag was filled with awesomeness!

Okay so here we go about J n I. I'm not going to go into detail about what or how it all 'happened'really because even I am not too sure about how it 'happened'. Long story short, we went on a holiday and I was happy and decided why not. awe...

There was this once J called me a miser (which i never forgot) and to be honest, I really am one. shy* Truth is, i love bargain hunting and you can trust me to never pass up on a bargain when i see one. Now this fact absolutely frustrates J because he knows there is no stopping a girl on a mission.

So on the last day before he left (that's 2 days ago), he took me shopping. Now typically, shopping for a girl is just one shopping centre OR one strip of shops but not me. I like to be 'creative' with my shopping (that's also due to my short attention span/impatience). We went to Chaddy first up and found nothing then the city where I paid for my bag - Finally i have it :D We proceeded to have dinner and because I also have a bad sense of direction, I took him on a merry goose chase to find a Thai restaurant which was closed. Yep but J was so understanding -well not really. I could almost see his fumes coming out but he kept it 'under the lid'. (It was pretty far...about 20 minutes walk - I would be pissed too. See above for reasoning). I then decided Hey why dont we have Korean instead. I mean you like Korean...(trying to diffuse the timebomb and get him to walk another say 5 blocks?) but he flatly refuse and said No, we are going to Big Mamas (That place is shit btw -especially what tasted like caramelised salty chicken they call spicy chicken) And if that wasn't enough, after dinner, the poor boy had to tell me that he needed to get his mother some cream. I was thinking swell (sucker), I could get him to another shopping avenue! (This was 9pm already mind you and trust me, J was in no mood for shopping). But hell yeah we went in and while I was looking/picking out shoes I wanted to buy, (much to my surprise) J comes over with 2 himself. I made a shopaholic out of him! Total damage: $45 for 4 pairs. We were happy campers for the night!

Well, there is no moral to this story but as you can see, he is really my partner in crime. What I mean is we are compatible right down to the bargain hunts (Betcha didn't know that didya J).

What Im trying to say is 2012 is gonna be awesome because J's gonna be around. So here is to a HAPPY NEW YEAR with you!

Cheerio xoxo

tiffany and co.

2011-12-30T19:22:00.003+08:00

im not a big fan until XXX told me about this!

so pretty!

i want this ring! but sadly..the sterling silver one has sold out..

and the platinum with diamonds ring cost $3000 aud wtf

i think ill wait until i get married.

theres a necklace and bracelet too! Yummy

The road not taken

2011-11-30T10:03:00.007+08:00

Ive hit a fork road in my life.

Part of me just wants to stay there but i know i cant forever.

The hardest thing was deciding which road to choose

As my eyes do not allow me to see which is the right path.

Will it be better? Im not sure.

Will it make me stronger? Perhaps.

Will i learn more? I hope so.

The only thing I'm sorry for is that I couldn't have it all.

_______________________________________________________

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost, 1915.

PCK & Harith

2011-11-17T14:56:00.000+08:00

Hillarious

2011-10-20T21:40:00.001+08:00

A curious mind knows no limits.

Sometimes after finding the truth, you realize the lie was easier to live with.

Psalm 91 NIV

2011-10-12T10:53:00.002+08:00

¹ Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
² I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.”

³ Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.
⁴ He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
⁵ You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
⁶ nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday.
⁷ A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you.
⁸ You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked.

⁹ If you say, “The LORD is my refuge,” and you make the Most High your dwelling,
¹⁰ no harm will overtake you, no disaster will come near your tent.
¹¹ For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.
¹³ You will tread on the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

¹⁴ “Because he loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
¹⁵ He will call on me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.
¹⁶ With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”

no makeup here.

2011-10-11T07:31:00.004+08:00

my coral dress has a new friend! hehheh

i wanna call it purple pansy. can i? kthkx lol

btw, the inner black top isnt attached to the dress

thats actually what i slept in &

i was too lazy to change out of it [but looks good together no?]

im changing my wardrobe to bodycon. bodycon everything. YES please!

electric blue bodycon on the way (: happy....

oh and im gonna start being an advocate of all things purple&yellow.

ingenious colour mix.

my hair is really long, thick and nice now.

all thkx to the hairdresser 3 months back.

i look like a puffer fish here but you can see the hair is long/wavyish?

humble beginnings -let me tell you a story

i went drunking 2 nights ago.

let me explain; drunking, verb, -the act of driinking with your bff till you're so tipsy you see 2 i(s) in drink and realize you're drunk lol

hence all the drunk pastings on the blog [i really should stop doing that] lol

okay back to the exam papers.

xoxo

2011-10-09T21:27:00.003+08:00

all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run baby run out run my gun

all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run baby run faster my bullet

all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run baby run out run my gun

all the other kids with the pumped up kicks you better run baby run faster my bullet

ok last post, last song, im gonna sleep

2011-10-09T21:18:00.002+08:00

I'm on the pursuit of happiness and I know everything that shines ain't always gonna be gold
I'll be fine once I get it, I'll be good

okay imma bit drunk god....

why you let me win

2011-10-09T20:55:00.003+08:00

now 3 years have past and i still feel so robbed

why dint you talk me out of it why'd you let me win

i convince me if i love u id leave you i was lying

you stood there with your palms out you're crying with silence

have you settle down with someone since i gave you time to grow

do you ever think about me was it easy to let go i was such a foolish soul.

wish you'd talk me out of me back then why'd you let me win

rant because im awesome!

2011-10-08T07:07:00.003+08:00

hello!

im a tard. lol ok no im not. im just shockers with blogging. but today, today i have drive -which is why im here [i almost forgot my password].

Can i tell you guys something?? i cannot wait x1000000000 to go to bkk. i am gonna unleash my inner inhibitions [if i havent done so already] for shopping/drinking. let the anieeeeemal in me come out. mummy wants to see the pingpong show [ill post a nice video of it after my trip]. gawd i mean ive even got a checklist in my head of what stuff im gonna BUY -which i think will go out the window once i touchdown. ARGHHHH

oh and i just found out that hoi an, in vietnam is a little town which does effin awesome handmade leather bag/shoes & suits [everything -drools]! -but im not going there. big effin sigh. this time round, i must bring more money MORE money so i dont look back at the trip and regret like in taiwan. should have bought more clothing(s).

im so excited/happy about everything atm! next year ill be opening a new chapter in my life and eventhough i may be slower [because cappy's tend to b] i am sure ill make the best of my opportunities [and not waste a single one away] -my mum would kill me.

well ive got nothing to post atm because i havent done much except in-house drinks [and whoever takes pictures doing that is a tard]..and the backdated pictures im just too lazy to upload [why do they take so much time?] oh and im sick. my backs a killer because i tend to put my head forward when im on my laptop especially the shoulder blade area and so, i need a good physio haha oh but my bff just told me about this cupping machine which i think i might invest in because i read up on it and it gets rid of coagulated blood -which is the main cause of muscle pains. [i saw one on ebay -ok well there are many]. Thing is if im gonna start work next year; it might be helpful??

what else? erm my hair is long & nice atm but i always tie it back into a bun like an ahma because i like looking/dressing like one. sigh so sad. its only because i have no life right now! but im telling you i cant wait to get out of the house.

Maybe, if everything works out ill plan a US trip next year! fingers crossed! My my, 2 years have flown by so quickly

soon

2011-09-27T22:33:00.002+08:00

ive got something on my mind which i cant get rid off.

& im gonna do something which i think will have bad consequences

not sure what the consequences will be yet but ive gotta know

jig

2011-09-23T08:13:00.002+08:00

omg. this guy's routine is tight!

hey hey hey

ive been @ the olsen deck drinking 3 times a week?

thats not healthy innit?? LOL -least its not 5/6

besides that km&d finally meet all my bffs here. so uber awesome.

last night we had drinks & were playing 7up & chaimui

geezam wonder y girls always lose like effin loads argggghhh

we need some dice so we can hit it up. oh man. i miss that game.

ohoh n ill be going to a restaurant launch on Mondayzzz

coolies xx over&out.

shades of grey

2011-09-22T14:40:00.003+08:00

love skrillex.

i skipped 2 topics off tax heh

im currently experiencing technical difficulties with my brain.

please relish in my spin off verbal diarrhea.

ill be very much available after the 20th :)

ps. i cannot wait.

this is my schedule:

21 dinner at mamasitas

22 ielts

23 clean my house

24 work at jump

25 scoot off of msia!

xoxo

super busy with corn.

2011-09-16T10:16:00.002+08:00

heyoz,

im up to my ears in work/study. i just realize that this week ive clocked in 5/7 days.

so to reward myself, im going clubbing tomorrow. hahah xoxo

ohoh and i hope they play these song(s) in the club tmr.

ricochet ricochet -my new fav word. haha

mr. saxobeat. -oh i wish i had one of my own lol

get back asap

ohoh, & ive confirmed my holidays!

hanoi 27 oct - 6 nov

bkk 11 - 14 nov

sg tbc

nz tbc

& tonight im gona try this chicken thats like so spicy when it touches your tongue, your tongue will go numb.

kthxbye.

growing up doesnt mean growing old.

2011-09-05T18:41:00.008+08:00

aka number 3

better love makes a fat romance.

then what gets in the way of fat love?

(1) fear, (2) pride, (3) impatience

i think i've got number (3)

if you could put down your fear & your pride

and me, my impatience.

maybe would have eventuated.

some updates:

2011-08-29T20:33:00.003+08:00

ive started yoga classes. my 3rd class today out of 6 days.

i cant decide if i like it or not but keeps me busy.

i reckon i need to go cz im so stressed out lately.

plus, im effin busy.

ive got effin loads to do since getting an additional role at uni

ive got 2 assignments x3000 x 4000 words due.

ive just applied for 7 jobs over the weekend.

i just went for an open day & finished 1 assignment over the weekend.

oh my mum is here on hols this week &

the following week my 2 besties will b here. excited/happy!

i dont even have time to blog/search for nice music/have my me time.

btw its already week 7. time flies like butterflies.

soon ill be back home, then off to bkk (:::::::

time is precious. carpe diem.

me like.

2011-08-24T16:56:00.003+08:00

im drinking red wine atm while listening to my lecture. awesome.

i just heard this song in the car.

today was a long day. last week was a busy week. phew.

Now and then I think of when we were together
Like when you said you felt so happy you could die
Told myself that you were right for me
But felt so lonely in your company
But that was love and it's an ache I still remember

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness
Like resignation to the end
Always the end
So when we found that we could not make sense
Well you said that we would still be friends
But I'll admit that I was glad that it was over

But you didn't have to cut me off
Make out like it never happened
And that we were nothing
And I don't even need your love
But you treat me like a stranger
And that feels so rough
You didn't have to stoop so low
Have your friends collect your records
And then change your number
I guess that I don't need that though
Now you're just somebody that I used to know

so true, its awesome

sermon of the mount

2011-08-15T23:00:00.003+08:00

HOLA! if i could pick(1) word, EAT would sum it up.

monday: greco's lamb pizza, timtam cheesecake w el & hotpot for dinner w chris & co
omg timtam cheesecake is divine yet so sinful! but i reckon the combination of pizza and cheesecake was just too much plus i had to shovel it down cz of work. at night the weather was absolute shiteous and i got dragged out by my "brother from another mother" HAHA (hear that chrissy??) let me tell you guys a story. i met up with chrissy's parents & the mom confirmed that she was gonna name her daughter stephanie! so there you have it folks. blood is thicker than water!

tuesday: dinner w j (we are gonna have 'lau de' aka viet goat hotpot) -that is if i can with my special abilities find the damn place. ive had it last year but cant remember where anymore! btw, i love lau de b/c its so delicious. the meat is fried beforehand before they make the hotpot & so you get like an explosion of flavours when eating the whole thing!

weds: tgi dinner w karren & co -okay well apparently i was mistaken. its not parma night + girls. so i just got told i get to choose anything i want. woohoo to girls night out.

thurs: dinner w el -another catchup b/c monday time was so limited!

sat: dinner @ the italian -celebrating a 21st birthday. i cant remember whether the food there was good or not but i reckon it should it quite an experience esp with wine & fine dine haha

OMFG FML. i am gonna die. if you guys dont know me yet im a realz home bunny. i love my home & my bunnies. so going out so much is gonna leave me freaking exhausted. must push on!

okay, im gonna head to chaddy now to shop cz ive been craving/cant stop thinking about the shops/cant concentrate on my assignment. as per mum's words, "get it out of your system dear" HAHA btw, mum is coming in 1 week! AHHHHH HAPPINESS!

shall leave you all now with the sermon of the mount. xoxo

Matthew 5:1-12

Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, and he began to teach them

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

How do you love and want to be loved?

2011-08-15T22:11:00.004+08:00

if only we were all so lucky.

Anyway, I pulled the 5 languages of love from Dr Chapman's New York bestseller.

I reckon this is something that i need to improve on. Let me share with you my experience (though limited) of love. I like expressing my love through service and gifts. Why? I reckon for the most obvious part, because its simple (and easiest). You tell me what you want and naturally, i'd do it (if within my power) & if, id love you enough. Unfortunately, because love is not logical, it doesn't work in the same easy way. (And actually, in my opinion, it defies logic completely!)

As per mike lee, "Love does not make sense. Love is not technical. Love is not black and white. When it comes to matters of the heart, you cannot apply human standards of fairness and mathematical principles of logic. When a person Loves, a person Loves. It does not have to make sense. It only has to exist and to be boundless."

So true. Funnily, the way i love and the way i want to receive love is totally opposite too. I like receiving my love through words of affirmation and physically.

Well, as i read the 5 languages of love, i gradually understood that we shouldn't be picking a single 'language' (expression) to follow. i mean there must be a reason why its called the 5 languages of love (and not just the 5 languages of love, pick one). in retrospect, there has to be a balance among these 5 ways of expressing your love to someone. You cannot neglect one as each one of these 5 is just as important as the other.

I hope this gives you an insight into how to love and be loved as much as it gave me.

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Quality Time

In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Receiving Gifts

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

Acts of Service

Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

Physical Touch

This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

source: www.5lovelanguages.com/learn-the-languages/the-five-love-languages/, http://www.mikelee.org/love-is-not-logical.html

on paper.

2011-08-13T19:06:00.003+08:00

source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/7606470@N04/2954581416/
this is the best depiction of what im feeling, or so to speak.

top 05 playlist -because i believe there is a song for the past, present & future

1. made in heights - all the places
2. adele -melt my heart to stone
3. tae yang -wedding dress
4. music soulchild -dont change
5. ellie goulding -guns and horses

let me explain why.

no. 2 (the present)

Right under my feet there's air made of bricks
Pulls me down turns me weak for you
I find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I'm forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone

no. 4(the past, the future)

See I'll love you when your hair turns gray, girl
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight, yeah
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change, No
I was meant for you and you were meant for me, yeah
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need, yeah
Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change

this song was dedicated to me by a certain special someone a long time ago.

im moving forward but i keep looking back
what im doing, i dont know
where im going is where ill end up
but for now, ill just keep moving..

boys, you can't live with them, you can't live without them.

made in China, assembled in US

2011-08-11T09:22:00.005+08:00

cali/san fran's made in china bridge.

according to nytimes,

At $7.2 billion, it will be one of the most expensive structures ever built. But California officials estimate that they will save at least $400 million by having so much of the work done in China

wtf, the workers @ Zhenhua only earn $9 USD a day previously. What happened to worker's rights/unions/enterprise bargaining or minimum wage?

Zhenhua put 3,000 employees to work on the project: steel-cutters, welders, polishers and engineers. The company built the main bridge tower, which was shipped in mid-2009, and a total of 28 bridge decks — the massive triangular steel structures that will serve as the roadway platform.

Pan Zhongwang, a 55-year-old steel polisher, is a typical Zhenhua worker. He arrives at 7 a.m. and leaves at 11 p.m., often working seven days a week. He lives in a company dorm and earns about $12 a day.

“It used to be $9 a day, now it’s $12,” he said Wednesday morning, while polishing one of the decks for the new Bay Bridge. “Everything is getting more expensive. They should raise our pay.”

awesome!

source: aljazeera, www.nytimes.com/2011/06/26/business/global/26bridge.html?pagewanted=all

Love is war, im your soldier.

2011-08-10T22:34:00.000+08:00

oh this is sex.

eureka!

2011-08-10T19:10:00.004+08:00

Ive been reading so many articles lately & this is one of the awesome articles. HAHA good read just before i start streaming my lectures! xoxo

ps. i havent had dinner cz we had this party & i ate @ uni at 5 but now im hungry :( i reckon i should sleep it off....

Is he emotionally unavailable? by NMH

Mr Unavailable isn’t a Bad Boy per se and has nice qualities, which is what keeps the millions of women lingering around.

He is the ambiguous, hard to read, very attractive anomaly that sits between a Bad Boy and Mr Nice Guy. Mr Unavailable (or as some refer to him EUM – emotionally unavailable man) is one of the most dangerous men that you could meet and every day his inability to tap into his emotions and into himself has millions of women investing their time and energy into fruitless liaisons with him.

His characteristics, personality and behaviour give the women he engages with, just enough of a hint of what he could be, if only he wasn’t so self-involved and quite messed up.

They have a host of excuses as to why they can’t be as much of a partner as we would like them to be and they blame “timing”, and tell you that “If only things were different, you’d be the perfect girlfriend” but that doesn’t explain why they continue to play havoc with your emotions.

Mr Unavailables are very much about the chase. They pursue hard, shower you with attention and lay it on thick with a trowel in order to reel you in, but from the moment that you are hooked and things get comfortable, he backs off. Then he homes in again. This is the Pushey Pulley Game that he uses to achieve The Status Quo. After a while it seems like they want to avoid doing anything that involves them being close to you despite starting off the “relationship” very eagerly.

Here are just some of the signs that you’re with a Mr Unavailable. If you find one sign, you’ll find many, but often one sign is enough and you should use this to evaluate whether this is the type of relationship that you actually want to be involved in, because each and every one of these signs, especially when more than one of them exists, spell pain and trouble. Here goes…

He has a girlfriend or is married – read my post on being the other woman.

He’s recently separated – read my post on how to cope when he’s separated.

Or he’s divorced but clinging to the fact that he’s been divorced to avoid committing – see my post on ‘Am I right not to go back to my flip-flapping divorcee?‘

He’s in a long distance relationship. With someone else. Or you’re in one with him and he has no desire to get closer – read my roughguide to a new long distance relationship.

He’s very reliant on text messages, instant messaging and email for the majority of his contact – read my post on why you should be wary of any man who is reliant on text messaging etc.

They’re ambiguous about the status of the relationship – check out my post on defining the relationship.

You’re not sure when you’ll hear from the next, even though you’ve been dating them for a while.

You think you’re in a relationship, but it’s closer to a booty call.

He says stuff like ‘If only the timing was different, you’d be the perfect girlfriend’;'If only things were different I’d definitely marry you’.

When you try to tackle the status of your relationship or any issues, he either tells you what you want to hear and then returns to his normal behaviour or he just skirts the issue. One way or the other, you wind up back at square one.

He lives with his ex.

He shares a bed with a woman that he claims is his friend.

He admits that he is dating multiple women continuously.

He’s openly not over his ex.

He says he’s over his ex but he’s quietly still trying to cope with the end of the relationship.

He mentions his ex or things that happened between the two of them often.

He’s an overt mother lover/mummy’s boy.

He’s a mother hater – has an overtly negative relationship with his mother.

He doesn’t call when he’s supposed to. Ever.

He’s one big walking excuse.

You feel empty after you sleep with him.

He creeps out after sleeping with you even though you’ve been together for a while

He has a stringent routine that he just won’t deviate from – sometimes a sign that he has someone else.

He won’t take calls either before or after a certain time – often a sign that he’s cheating.

He doesn’t come around to your place until late.

He is resistant to involving himself in your life.

He talks about his problems, his successes, his life – it’s me, me, me all the way.

He determines the momentum of the relationship – you meet up when he wants to meet up.

He pushes for an ‘open’ relationship.

He never refers to you as a girlfriend, partner or any form of significant other.

He uses sex as his way of demonstrating his so-called ‘emotion’.

There are pockets of time when he seems to just disappear, and then he resurfaces with little or no explanation.

It feels like he blows hot and cold.

He’s quick out the gate in pursuing you, gets your attention, and then goes into a slow canter.

He tells you that he has a lot of issues that he needs to deal with.

He actually says ‘I’m not ready for a relationship’, but is still with you.

He says he wants to get married, but there is no sign of a ring, no sign of a date and years are going by.

He can’t commit to anything, no matter how miniscule. Everything that he’s asked, such as whether he can do something with you is a big drama to get him to say yay or nay.

Hes got about as much emotion in him as a stone.

He may try and sleep with you on the first night.

Source: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/how-to-spot-emotionally-unavailable-men/

proverbs 3:6

2011-08-06T18:36:00.003+08:00

Can you lie next to her & give her your heart
As well as your body
can you lie next to her & confess your love
As well as your folly
can you kneel before the king & say I'm clean, I'm clean

But tell me now, where was my fault In loving you with my whole heart

Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life

Proverbs 3: 5-6 (NIV) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight

slowly but surely

2011-08-05T15:16:00.002+08:00

booya!

this is what i call my sparkle&fade top.

Send steph to nebula (:

okay im going out for dinner xoxo

love or lack thereof?

2011-08-01T22:15:00.006+08:00

blessed but still i wish for more. i wonder if this makes me a greedy person or just human? so many times we blame life, we blame being human, we blame everything instead of taking the blame ourselves. i see beautiful couples everywhere and they look so happy. i wish i had a piece of what they have too. some days that feeling disappears, other days the longing grows. at times i try not to think about it. other times i suppress it. really, i do try my best. i think my perception of love is just warped. if we could live in the world and not care about time, money or tomorrow. i wish we could. i really dont know what im doing at this stage. sometimes i find all this wishing, longing and waiting is madness. its a bit exhausting. its a little boring. i know nothing is perfect and love isnt what they portray in movies but i really wish it was. cant we cut out the bits that we hate? bit naive i know. i have a ridiculous obsession about love. its unhealthy. i wonder if ill chance upon love again. what if you lost it and never to be found again? its only a letting go never a goodbye. love hurts when you are in it and even when you're not. i wish everyone all the best on this journey.

source: tumblr, soundcloud.

control

2011-07-28T14:34:00.009+08:00

i've taken back control of my life after x3 arduous weeks of self loathing. the approach: i have deleted all my (treasured) websites & hey i might regret it (cz honestly i did it in the spur of the moment) but that's okay cz i know i have been wasting too much of my time on nothing & these websites, bad bad bad websites, all they make me feel is horrible about myself every winter over & over again. why why why why why do i let myself get so affected all the time is beneath me and so now, it is the time i start taking back control of my life. gym, healthy eating/living, positive thinking, stop living in my room and start my freaking assignment tonight (and hopefully try and get it done) so i can actually go out on the weekend.

Anyway i made this vlog out of boredom a few days ago. correction, why cant i upload it via blogger?? sigh. ill upload it another time.

ps. ive been watching lots of rube goldberg today. shall leave you with that instead. awesome!

assignment time xoxo

Norway massacre

2011-07-25T18:29:00.006+08:00

Mummy said not to get enter cars with strangers. this is why.

Regardless of his reasons or his intentions - multiculturalism, immigration, anti muslim fanatic, many (children in particular) have died in the hands of this madman, a blonde hair blue eyed which could have possibly been mistaken as a policeman.

To call him a madman would only relieve him from the responsibilities he should shoulder.

This is by far the most disturbing and now, he want to be given a day in court to be heard.

What say you?

via aljazeera

kbox

2011-07-24T20:00:00.003+08:00

this was like from weeks ago, kboxing w henessy.

ps. henessy is e-v-i-l.

woohoo.

2011-07-21T23:51:00.008+08:00

my first vlog! i sound so bad but wtf right. haha nvm.

a posse ad esse

2011-07-20T18:52:00.004+08:00

i just invested in vara&varina ferragamo shoes.

shall be waiting for them to arrive (:

varina

vara

take a stab, have a listen. xoxo

ps. i decided that im going to start doing some vlogs so stay tune.

in the deep end.

2011-07-19T13:13:00.004+08:00

kbox

bistro vue

daddy took me out for steakchops

longgrain, cripsy pork belly

and betel leaf something -ahha i took a bite out of it.

daddy took a picture of mr. puglet for me

my uber organised cupboard

transformer @ imax

im missing some pixels - cant remember where they are now

i wanna makea vlog! should i/shouldnt i??

salar, among other things

2011-07-16T12:52:00.007+08:00

my next bag buy, no words can describe except the price

all i can say is it is aesthetically pleasant to the eyes.

the only thing is i cant decided on the colour.

will also be getting these babies when my mum arrives whoopie!

ill be able to claim 15% tax back when she heads out with them.

eva clutch

gauffre pochette

source: purseforum, lv e-store, salar webbie

baobao

2011-07-15T13:43:00.001+08:00

ori

eng ver?

i love them both!

apropos

2011-07-14T21:32:00.002+08:00

this song reminds me of the time forever ago, as i toured so many foreign roads
it is so apropos, adv.
fitting; at the right time; to the purpose; opportunely

[Narrator:]
"So apropos
Saw death on a sunny snow"

[Him:]
"For every life..."

[Her:]
"forego the parable."

[Him:]
"Seek the light."

[Her:]
"...my knees are cold."

Running home
Running home
Running home
Running home

[Her:]
"Go find another lover;
To bring a- to string along!"

"With all your lies,
You're still very lovable."

"I toured a light
So many foreign roads
For Emma, forever ago."

two articles about me.

2011-07-10T20:45:00.003+08:00

I 11%, N 12%, F 50%, J 67%

As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.

INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.

INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.

But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.

Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families. They don't believe in compromising their ideals.

INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.

In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.

The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.

Apparently there is only 1% of ME(s) out there! EEK

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

i always knew i was special but not this special.

loot ;)

2011-07-06T20:46:00.002+08:00

just want to share my new dress in shocking pink!

birthdays

2011-07-06T19:23:00.005+08:00

okay so my brother's birthday is coming up.
as kids, we grew up with one and only one birthday cake flavor, black forest.
i shall attempt to recreate one of his (and mine) childhood memories -the black forest roulade (with a slight french twist).
hopefully it turns out as expected. good to know ive got the recipe here so it cant turn out too wrong!
http://www.goodtoknow.co.uk/recipes/289827/Black-Forest-roulade
and if this works out, this will be one to keep in my book of recipes for my future non existent guest.

btw, i love this song! this is sex on a stick. anyway im gonna shower and read xoxo

exhaustive

2011-07-04T21:30:00.003+08:00

terribly exhausted today, from the constant outings, to the very [well, in steph's standards -i kid you not] late nights and skinny lattes.
its like a replay of a bad dream, which i reckon equates to a nightmare
i'm meant to sleep at 12 only because i want to wake up at 6, but i reset my alarm to 7, just because i know i cant so why bother trying.
okay 5 minutes left to fit my life into this post.

swag

2011-06-22T19:13:00.002+08:00

beginning 0:56 OMFG ear milk.

I dont know how im gonna last 24 days of pure work.
im already exhausted. then its back to uni.
ah life is one big sigh..and i think my period is coming.
i feel like shit but as i recall it just came so wth?

nostalgia.

2011-06-21T21:46:00.003+08:00

have you realize i changed my parting?
yes.i.did. i need a cut/color/blowdry.
everyone says i look different..
theres a filthy nest on my head at the moment.
btw, i look exactly the same 5 years ago. damn.

6 things without fail you must do,
so that your woman loves just you,
oh all the girls played mental games,
and all the guys were dressed the same,

marvin's room.

2011-06-20T15:10:00.001+08:00

cant get over this song. shall be on my repeat for a week.

But I’ve been drinking so much
That I’ma call her anyway and say
“F-ck that nigga that you love so bad
I know you still think about the times we had”
I say “f-ck that nigga that you think you found
And since you picked up I know he’s not around”

I think I’m addicted to naked pictures
And sittin talkin’ ’bout bitches
That we almost had
I don’t think I’m concious of making monsters
Outta the women that I sponsor til it all goes bad
But shit it’s all good
We threw a party, yeh we threw a party
Bitches came over, yeh, we threw a party
I was just calling cause they were just leaving
Talk to me please, don’t have much to believe in
I need you right now, are you down to listen to me?
Too many drinks have been given to me
I got some women thats living off me
Paid for their flights and hotels I’m ashamed
Bet that you know them, I won’t say no names
After a while girl they all seem the same
I’ve had sex four times this week I’ll explain
Having a hard time adjusting to fame
Sprite in that mixture, I’ve been talking crazy girl
I’m lucky that you picked up
Lucky that you stayed on
I need someone to put this weight on

Babies born from 2010 to form Generation Alpha

2011-06-18T09:51:00.000+08:00

WE'VE all heard of Gen X, Gen Y, even Gen Z - but in January we go to a whole new alphabet and welcome to the world the next instalment: Generation Alpha.

Social researchers and sociologists claim the babies born into new Generation Alpha - dubbed Gen A - will be the most formally educated generation in history.

Researcher Mark McCrindle said sociologists came up with the name because scientists moved on to the Greek alphabet when they had exhausted the Latin, The Sunday Telegraph reports.

"It's not so much going back to the beginning as starting a brand new page," said Mr McCrindle, the author of a new book about global generations, The ABC Of XYZ.

He said 2010 babies and other Australians born over the next 15 years would begin school earlier and study for longer than those from previous generations.

Gen A members were also expected to be more materialistic and technology-focused.

"As the children of older, wealthier parents with fewer siblings and more entertainment and technological options, it's likely they'll be the most materially supplied generation ever," said the McCrindle Research director.

He said the material aspect was a key issue, with research groups showing one-third of households spent more than $500 per child per year.

"Half of the toys children have are electric or battery-powered, which are more expensive," he said. "These 'Google' kids are really being shaped in a world of technology and consumerism."

Nicole Le Lievre's twin boys will be among the first Australians born into the Gen A demographic next year.

The Wahroonga 33-year-old said she was thrilled her boys, due on January 3, would be part of the next generation.

"It's exciting to think of the types of opportunities that will be open to them," she said.

"We're excited, but also a little bit daunted by that amount of information and the security around that - it's a bit frightening in regard to how they can be protected.

"We don't want them to see too much too young - it's important that they still get to be kids."

This sentiment is echoed by social commentator Neer Korn, who said there could be a backlash against consumerism in Generation Alpha, with some parents going back to basics in the hope their children will hold on to their youth for longer.

"What we can't predict is (whether) the opposite could happen and there could be a backlash," he said. "There are already discussions about kids starting school at six - so a reassessment may be taking place."

Generation Alpha takes the reins from Gen Z - those born since 1995, who will make up 36 per cent of the workforce in 2020.

About 90 per cent of the class of 2020 are expected to complete Year 12, and 40 per cent will go on to further tertiary study.

They are expected to work longer and have an average of five careers and 20 different employers in their lifetimes, according to data from McCrindle Research.

Helensburgh mother-of-three Kathie Upcroft said her youngest son, Harry, 6, was a prime example of Gen Z.

"I've been saying to my children for a few months now, 'You're so fortunate to be going through your generation in this era right now,' " Ms Upcroft said. "And as a parent, seeing it all is pretty special."

Author Douglas Coupland, who coined the term Generation X in his best-selling book, has recently released a sequel, Generation A, a satirical take on pop culture and the future.

Source: Sunday Telegraph

dreams

2011-06-15T20:07:00.002+08:00

steph says
i wonder if it is possible to be emotionally neutral?
i don't think its a good idea to keep watching wedding videos.
caffeine + wedding videos + emotions = bad feeling.
my form 1 dream still stands. i want a man who loves me more.
dependable and sincere.

drake says
I can’t believe we really made it I’m partly surprised, I swear
daaam, this one for the books, man!
I swear this shit is as fun as it looks, man!
I’m really tryna make it more than what it is,
cuz everybody dies but not everybody lives!

young money

2011-06-15T13:09:00.003+08:00

i love this song!

Don't worry bout me, and who I fire
I get what I desire, it's my empire
And yes I call the shots, I am the umpire
I sprinkle holy water, upon the vampire (vampire)
In this very moment I'm king,
In this very moment I slay Goliath with a sling,
This very moment I bring
Put it on everything, that I will retire with the ring,
And I will retire with the crown, Yes!
No I'm not lucky I'm blessed, Yes!
Clap for the heavyweight champ, Me!
But I couldn't do it all alone, We!
Young Money raised me, grew up out in Baisley
Southside Jamaica, Queens and it's crazy
cause I'm still hood, Hollywood couldn't change me
shout out to my haters, sorry that you couldn't phase me
ain't being cocky we just vindicated, best believe that when we done
This moment will be syndicated, I don't know, this night just remind me of
everything that they deprived me of,
pppp-put ya drinks up, it's a celebration every time we link up
We done did everything they can think of
Greatness is what we on the brink of.

she looks so hot here.

oh god, this is so good!

so hot! ARGH

how many cuppa teas do you drink a day??

btw what home chores do you hate doing the most? for me its,
1. washing dishes
2. folding clothes

the rest is fine HAHA

ipad2

2011-06-14T12:38:00.000+08:00

i love this commercial

instant bazinga!

2011-06-10T23:29:00.002+08:00

i want i want i want!

dont know if i should get opi or barry m!

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/GENUINE-OPI-BLACK-SHATTER-KATY-PERRY-STOCK-NOW-/320709637662?pt=AU_Nail_Care&hash=item4aabc8b61e

http://www.ebay.com.au/itm/Barry-M-INSTANT-NAIL-EFFECTS-VARNISH-POLISH-CRACKLE-/130525721980?pt=UK_Health_Beauty_Nails_Manicure_Pedicure_CA&var=&hash=item641f46c2b9#ht_1381wt_1140

ARGHhhhhhhh

love at first sight

2011-06-10T22:49:00.002+08:00

this poem brings about an air of nostalgia for me.
and till this day i am still in love with it.
its an excellent poem written in polish about fate.

Both are convinced
that a sudden surge of emotion bound them together.
Beautiful is such a certainty,
but uncertainty is more beautiful.

Because they didn’t know each other earlier, they suppose that
nothing was happening between them.
What of the streets, stairways and corridors
where they could have passed each other long ago?

I’d like to ask them
whether they remember— perhaps in a revolving door
ever being face to face?
an “excuse me” in a crowd
or a voice “wrong number” in the receiver.
But I know their answer:
no, they don’t remember.

They’d be greatly astonished
to learn that for a long time
chance had been playing with them.

Not yet wholly ready
to transform into fate for them
it approached them, then backed off,
stood in their way
and, suppressing a giggle,
jumped to the side.

There were signs, signals:
but what of it if they were illegible.
Perhaps three years ago,
or last Tuesday
did a certain leaflet fly
from shoulder to shoulder?
There was something lost and picked up.
Who knows but what it was a ball
in the bushes of childhood.

There were doorknobs and bells
on which earlier
touch piled on touch.
Bags beside each other in the luggage room.
Perhaps they had the same dream on a certain night,
suddenly erased after waking.

Every beginning
is but a continuation,
and the book of events
is never more than half open.

-translated by Walter Whipple"
— Wisława Szymborska

steph moments

2011-06-07T14:26:00.004+08:00

the greatest thing about life is that it is magnificent & rewarding. sometimes things don't turn out as you'd expect. or worse, things turn out differently from what you expected. that is the beauty of life -you cannot predict the future.

i realize i am not "cookie-cut" type A. (well, i guess we cant all be). i make the best moments, those which you see/like to believe are real on tv, romance novels and magazines turn into the most ridiculously funny, (realistic) and awkward moments ever. im tempted to called these moments, steph moments. mostly because i do them when we hang out together and because of the fact that i am shy and awkward myself. (yes, i have come to accept that).

i think sometimes my mind works goes into reverse gear makes a whrrrrr sound and then fuels my next reaction (and i must say from experience, my reactions are rather..priceless). that was how my last saturday went -from hero to zero in zero seconds flats, i could have crawled into a car bonnet, hid there for half a century and then climb back out only to find that half of the world had been eaten by monsters. (im not joking). i cant possibly tell whether i was zero or hero in that night either simply because of the turn of events but i guess i had potential to be both.

to say that i am not eccentric would actually mean that i am lying to you. so to save you the trouble, i will admit i am eccentric (and yesterday, well since i started reading horoscopes a month back, i have come to accept that too). -i think you should too.

have you ever had a steph moment?

among other things.

2011-06-05T21:34:00.002+08:00

oh god. i love this song by tim&jean.

HAHA this article is so steph.
Off the trolley

For me, shopping and subterfuge have always been inextricably linked. Not grocery shopping. Not shopping for necessities like tyres or white goods or school shoes or sheets. Not shopping for others, not gifts. But buying things for yourself and being deceitful about it go together like ice cream and Milo. Naturally.

Consider one of the most popular modern sports for women: Shop, Hide and Lie where you buy things, smuggle them into your house to avoid questioning and then lie if asked (by a guy), “Is that new?”

We have regular debates in my house about the definition of ‘new’. Is it something I bought this week? This year? Or something my husband hasn’t seen me in before?

My own definition is tight. It’s new if I bought it in the previous 72 hours. Once the tag is off? Not new anymore. Conveniently, this allows me to meet almost all enquiries with the truthful response: “No, it’s old”. (Quick aside: why is it that I bristle when my husband asks if something is new and I’ll always deny it but when a girlfriend asks, I beam and say “yes!’ and disclose all details proudly and unprompted?).

Most women are adept at the art of smuggling purchases from store to wardrobe. Some even keep spare dry-cleaner bags in their cars for this very purpose while others stash swing tags in the glove box or in the neighbour’s wheelie bin.

I’ve given much thought as to why we bother with this charade, even if we’re spending our own money. Even if the men we’re deceiving don’t care what we buy. Perhaps it’s instinctive. Like the way my dog will bury a bone even though it’s unnecessary because there will be plenty of dinner and more bones to come and because nobody else is going to steal the disgusting manky thing if he leaves it on the grass. Still, he buries it. It’s in his doggy DNA.

I bury my shopping even though my husband doesn’t care, let alone chastise me for buying things I may not actually need (the definition of ‘need’ is also highly contentious at my house, I find debating technicalities is an effective diversionary tactic. Try It.).

.
With less time available to me as the demands of work and kids crank up, I suddenly understand the appeal of online shopping. I’d dabbled a bit in the past. A bit of eBay here. The odd purchase there. But my usual modus operandi has been this perverse thing where I gaily fill my online shopping cart with all sorts of goodies and then abandon it at the checkout, close the window and move on. This is surprisingly satisfying.

But why? I hate window-shopping in real life. If I’m going to bother finding the time to go to the shops, park my car, leave a trail of breadcrumbs so I can find it again and then traipse around trying things on, I want to buy something, dammit. Online shopping is different. You haven’t had to invest any physical effort beyond moving your index finger around a bit. And even if you do buy something, it would take time to arrive. So once you remove the instant gratification buzz of leaving a store with a shopping bag on your arm, buying or not buying online aren’t really that different.

I thought I was the only freak who did this but it turns out there are many similar weirdos who fill carts and abandon them. It even has a name, “Gratis Shopping” or “Free Shopping” and I know this because I read an article about it in the aptly named Shop magazine.

Virtual shopping also feels satisfying because so much of the pleasure of retail therapy is in the thought process, imagining how a new purchase will magically pull together your entire wardrobe and indeed your life. You don’t need to actually buy it to go through that thought process, in fact buying it usually kills the fantasy. By simply gathering together your top picks from Net-A-Porter or ShopBop or Asos or Revolver, you can create the most sensation virtual wardrobe, flex a bit of shopping muscle, amuse yourself visually and keep your credit card pristine.

Over Easter, I was sick for four days straight. The kind of sick where you don’t even want to scoff your kids’ Easter eggs after they go to sleep. THAT sick. Stranded in bed, I turned to online shopping. It was a hoot. There was some Gratis Shopping but there was also rather a lot of Actual Shopping. In the days and weeks that followed however, I discovered how online shopping can be dangerous. Not because someone might pilfer your details or because what you bought doesn’t fit when it arrives. No, all that is easily resolved. The biggest danger of online shopping is that you cannot control how or when it gets to your house. The smuggle part is suddenly impossible because your new stuff could come via courier or through the mailbox AT ANY TIME. You may not even be home. And when a package with a big sticker saying “Victoria’s Secret” turns up at the door, it can be a bit tricky to say, “What? This old thing?”

source: www.mamamia.com.au/weblog/2011/06/shop-hide-and-lie.html

hi readers,

2011-06-05T08:12:00.002+08:00

hey!

have you ever had aplenty of awkward dinner? -i had my first yesterday

is it just me or anyone else feel like they are constantly being put on a pedestal?
-voyeurism isnt my thing

my main aim now: altruism. -praying that my dreams come true (better for the world)

im meant to study but sigh sigh sigh im going out for breakfast (2) -i just had brekkie at 8am. fml fyl

man i just want to be happy happy happy happy x10000000000000000000000000000000000

kthxbye (:

someone like you.

2011-06-02T22:08:00.001+08:00

dont know why as i grow older i prefer live versions.
btw you need to turn on your speakers up a little bit!

Nevermind, I'll find someone like you,
I wish nothing but the best for you, too,
Don't forget me, I beg,
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead,"
Sometimes it lasts in love,
But sometimes it hurts instead, yeah

ready set go.

2011-05-29T07:35:00.003+08:00

i know this might sound a little stupid but really my dream is to amass large amounts of wealth, open a charitable trust fund & donate my money to a cause.
not much time now to amass large amounts of wealth when you think about it.
only about 60 healthy years or 40 non healthy years. haha

Happy music!

2011-05-26T22:17:00.001+08:00

And it takes no time to fall in love
But it takes you years to know what love is
And it takes some fears to make you trust
It takes those tears to make it rust
It takes the dust to have it polished

On my happy playlist!

i should be studying

2011-05-26T13:04:00.003+08:00

i always wanted this

modern chivalry still exist.

the future.

2011-05-24T20:25:00.004+08:00

Hi! Thought id give a very brief update on whats been going on.
Melbs atm is suffering from wet&(very)cold weather.
Ive have been indoors for most of the times because of this reason.
Despite of all my insecurities&uncertainties about the future, i promised myself to endeavour on this long&winding journey. (whichever & where ever this may lead)
The past may not have been great for me, the present doesnt look too chirpy but i know someday this path im on will lead me to great adventures.
While the current road might be bleak and sore at times, i am very fortunate to have great friends, a supportive family and a house under my head.
ive cried about the future and while im still not a hundred percent, i reckon its time to pick myself up.
I am in a very good place right now, at peace with the demons, at peace with myself.

when change comes the only thing you can do is adapt.

lalala these little lies

2011-05-23T17:30:00.003+08:00

One of the most beautiful videography ive seen. makes me want to get married ASAP!

beautiful! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHH lol. kthxbye(:

slowly but surely.

2011-05-11T21:48:00.001+08:00

things are slow, progressively slow
i dont know why but im enjoying the process.
feeling very happy at the moment.
not sure if its cz all the meds went to my head.

sensitive soul.

2011-05-07T18:35:00.003+08:00

But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Make everyday
Worth all of the pain that I have
Gone through
And mama I’ve been cryin’
Cause things ain’t how they used to be
She said the battles almost won
And we’re only several miles from the sun
_

i love this song so much its on replay
and i feel like singing it at the top of my lungs
in karaoke! ahaha

The planet Saturn rules Capricorn and it’s image is very conservative and not a lot of fun in astrological circles and this is why Capricorn’s are associated with stiffness, stuffiness, and rigidity and with a reputation for coldness, materialism and perfectionism. A powerful need to be in control and consequently the need to control others, as to ensure the vision of the perfect world where nothing out of control ever happens. But since we all know that crap happens to the best of our intentions it’s the Capricorn who can suffer the most because of their stiffer expectations. So the answer is too simply learn the ways of the willow tree and bend with the breeze rather being the old oak that will try to survive all storms while it’s branches keep breaking off. Or try to be more like Pan instead of always striving for the perfectionism of Saturn.

love
Once Capricorn conquer their natural reserve and shyness, they make terrific partners: for although they are cautious and introverted, they can be very faithful when in a relationship. They need a partner who will support them emotionally and give them a much needed boost in confidence

Some Capricorn are so frightened of rejection and the possibility of being hurt that beginning a relationship can be difficult and opportunities are often missed. They may be short of self-confidence and are convinced that no one will ever find them attractive enough to embark on a long-term meaningful relationship.

Flirtations do not appeal to most Capricorn, who prefer a permanent relationship that gives them emotional security. The partner of a Capricorn may find that the only serious rival for his or her affections is the Capricorn's career. Although they can often seem a touch too introverted for the first few meetings, once they relax and feel more comfortable with someone, are able to reveal more of themselves. One of their most appealing traits is a fantastic sense of humour, even when the joke is at their expense. Once trust is established, their confidence blossoms.

HOW HOW HOW HOW HOW??? AHAHAH
i should really stop reading this.

The journey

2011-04-28T23:10:00.003+08:00

How we get so bitter towards the ones we love still baffles me.
To think we care most about those we love but give them the worse treatment.
I still wonder in amazement as to why that occurs.
Which is worse? To not give a damn or to care n be left miserable?
Why can't we pick n choose the feelings we want and detach ourselves from the feelings we don't want?

Anyway, I've been really busy lately. -been enjoying spending time w my mum.
Everyone knows I'm a mummy girl, which means all no ph calls, no txt, no goin out when she's around. 24/7 w her.
Besides that I'm trying to finish my assignment -it's one of those where the more you write the less sense it makes kind.
Going alumbra tmr, family dinner sat then BBQ/drinks/mahjong sat/sun n work mon.

Ive been really tired lately which begs the question am I diabetic??

And so the journey begins. Gnight.

sometimes.

2011-04-27T07:04:00.002+08:00

Love this vid!

With eyes wide shut we lay stagnant awake
Safe for now in this wonderous state
Lost at a crossroad that’s missing a sign
How do we know if they made it alive

There’s something lurking in the distance ahead
Fragments of light shine away from the dead
They fantasise fury, no time left to stop.
Darkness approaching now we’re at a loss

Sometimes, when all that’s lost remains
Drink from the fountain of youth and never age again
Sometimes we jump across to every cloud
Fly away, get lost and never be found

There’s something lurking from the shadows within
Stealing the colour and life from our skin
They fantasise fury at no extra cost,
Darkness approaches now we’re at a loss

been on my ipood since eons.

Q: Why am i bitter?

2011-04-21T15:43:00.005+08:00

A:
1. You defame me on fb either intentional/unintentional, express/implied its there and its on a constant basis. Just because i dont say anything and i dont do anything doesnt make me blind. I choose to be ignorant to your comments.

2. The worse thing is after you defame me on fb, you speak to me as if you havent ever said any of those comments (you are probably wondering what comments/i am overly sensitive), we havent been in an argument, as if we are the best of buddies (After defaming me on fb -probably because you didnt even know about this, probably because you were angry at that time (Why am i still making excuses for you?)), as if we are still the same and then you have the expectation that i will speak to you just the way that it was before.

3. You send me incoherent/with "expectations" text messages, even after no. 1. and number 2, and you still expect me to speak nicely to you, just the way that it was before.

4. When i speak to you, you are dissatisfied with the way i speak to you. And then you give me attitude (because you didnt know about number 1, 2 and 3). And i cop your shit for it.

5. The fact that i didnt say anything about what's been bothering me

6. You corrected me. To err is human and so fine, i stand corrected because i am human.

7. And finally, after "1" month you want to "talk about it". That is very nice to know that it took you "1" month to cool down before we could talk about it.

The fact is, I know you are human but heyo, I AM HUMAN TOO.

I know i shouldnt be posting this here but fact is nobody reads my blog anyway!

just a feeling.

2011-04-18T07:45:00.002+08:00

dont know why this past few days ive been feeling really down.
hoping this feeling will pass cz man it really sucks to feel like this.
even in moments sleep neglected, i still feel like shit.
i really wonder what is up.

anyway i really love this song.

off to work.

juxtaposition.

2011-04-12T17:27:00.004+08:00

You push me, I don't have the strength to
Resist or control you
So take me down, take me down

You hurt me but do I deserve this?
You make me so nervous
Calm me down, calm me down

Wake you up in the middle of the night to say
I will never walk away again
I'm never gonna leave this bed
______________________________________________________________________
Watch the sunrise
Say your goodbyes
Off we go
Some conversation
No contemplation
Hit the road

Car overheats
Jump out of my seat
On the side of the highway baby
Our road is long
Your hold is strong
Please don't ever let go Oh No

I know I don't know you
But I want you so bad
_____________________________________________________________________
Today i feel very down. I dont know why.
haih haih haihzzz...
FOCUS STEPH! omg.

2011-04-04T21:09:00.001+08:00

love it!

time flies?

2011-04-04T20:45:00.002+08:00

i am so tired! gonna slp soon.
10 things i did last week till this week:
friday drinks
sat - tues work
sun walk
and all the spare time in between for assignments.
that sums everything up.

just wanted to post 2 songs. hehe
1 song ill never get bored off. eamon eamon eamon eamon.

and new song

finally after 1 month of being back and eating salmon sandwich everyday, im sick of it lol. and i just realize ive only been back for a month..how things change and all things stay the same.

weds conversations/impromptu thoughts.

2011-03-30T19:30:00.007+08:00

i think as we age, we start to build up a retaining wall to protect ourselves and our feelings because of the pain and sufferings we go through. And as we go through this journey, the wall just gets higher and higher because we built ourselves that way. Until there comes a day where you never let anyone in and maybe its because we got too scared or we had too much pride but that really doesnt matter because the outcome for both scenarios will always be the same. let your pride down go once in a while, put your guard down. you'll be amazed at what you find. good guys finish last? well, let me tell you, nice girls finish last too.

im still finding the travel a bit of a journey =/

after izakaya/hot chocolate. i am -2 calories over sigh.

curiousity killed the cat!

2011-03-28T17:17:00.003+08:00

ive managed to drag my sorry ass out of the little dark place. it was fun while it lasted..oh wellz. time to move forward.

ive got couple envy, some of you might be thinking -what is she going on about. Well, interestingly enough (you actually manage to learn something from lectures when you attend!) So anyway my lecturer was talking about question envy -simple analogy which she gave, you choose one question but decide you dont like it and attempt the next one and regret after thinking you should have done the first question and the sick cycle repeats on and on again. totally irrelevant i know but well, ive got couple envy. in this context, i just envy couples who have lasted for a decade. i really want to lick your shoes, metaphorically (please not literally.)

anyway ive been reflecting alot lately on my life, the past, the present and the future. i think my time is not now (time is too short anyway) so i just want to concerntrate on the issues at hand ie. uni/life/school/work etc and worry about the things which come later one step at a time -although i must admit i have been reflecting on the past, curious about the what ifs. but ive told myself that curiousity killed the cat and i do not want to be that smeared cat. -id rather be the mouse, unfortunately ):

ps. my body is aching so much from the over streneous weekend...im trying to challenge myself with the my fitness pal. its pretty awesome because its a calorie counter, just what i need (very handy) esp with 3g/wifi etc. apparently by 2nd may i will be 40 kgs. without any work done mind you. isnt that strange? thats like in 35 days. i just want to see how this thingie works. besides it'd be really cool if i actually get to see the other side of the rainbow. well whatever, im still eating as per normal so well shall see how things go.

back to my books!

drunk talk..

2011-03-25T23:47:00.003+08:00

i dont knwo if i can do this anymore....

im alone again, where do i begin?

how?

2011-03-22T14:54:00.005+08:00

well, im hurt but thats when i realize even robots have feelings too. No matter how tired, no matter how strong, no matter how sad, and no matter how much i choose to put a mental block into my head, focusing on 'the vision'. The images sometimes reappears, the feelings sometimes come back and the tiredness most often disappears. The vision blurs and the books strain my eyes. i try to stay focused but slowly and surely i end up with the same feeling again.

and tomorrow is a new day. strange how repetitive life is innit?

ideas

2011-03-20T18:35:00.003+08:00

so my weekend turned out very interesting.
friday, all i wanted was to hurl up in my bed but i went out had fun, my head spinning at 5, drunk call
sat, woke up feeling like shit, worked like a zombie, never felt this exhausted in my life, had my lunch break at 2 and made about 2xxx, came home and slept like a baby
sun, woke up at 7, still groggy but managed, went on a roadtrip/for a morning walk then yum cha and my first time @ karrens/greenborough shopping centre.
right now lying in my bed feeling emotionally and physically spent.
im in between feelings at the moment -could really use some sleep.

not feeling 100%

2011-03-15T22:37:00.002+08:00

i will remember today as the day you chose work over me and those words which you said that cut like glass. i will never be so foolish again.

lack of communication here.

2011-03-15T04:37:00.003+08:00

i heard some very bad news yesterday. i know word of mouth can be misconstrued or perhaps it was the truth but only said out of anger. whatever the reason, it made me feel 10 million different kinds of emotions, not the good sort but the ones which make you want to crawl into bed, cry then sleep for a very long time. its worse than a constellation of f-ed up nightmares put together. i thought i was safe.

time

2011-03-10T21:32:00.003+08:00

dissapointment is one of those inexplanable emotional attachment a person goes through during a difficult period of time. also expect a large amount of frustration. this, is how i have been feeling in the last 2 months. my expectations have not been met. and strangely enough i ask only for one thing, that is time. apparently in today's society time is not an affordable real property. one must own time yet time cannot be own. time can be made but yet time might not be on your side. one bad situation after another bad situation has led to a series of unfortunate events. i am dissapointed. i am frustrated. however, i am more determined than ever knowing that one day i will find what i am looking for, something greater, beyond my expectation. similar expectations, similar goals and dreams, similar outlook on life, similarity as i understand now is key.

Happy 2011, cherish every waking moment because you might not live to see the next.

live high

2010-10-13T08:58:00.002+08:00

i want to feel like this, every day, every second of my life.

if this is what we’ve got, then what we’ve got is gold

2010-09-21T23:06:00.005+08:00

this feeling is all too familiar.
i told myself, i cant believe i've been here for 7 years.
how time flies.
i now tell myself -5 years more and you'll be home, i promise.
you need to preservere for the sake of your future, your children's future and their children's future.
and so i continue on my journey of preservation -enduring and adapting.
i must admit sometimes it gets tough, really tough especially during the nights when im left on my own to think but i've chosen to walk on this path and one day, i hope, finally when im done, ill be able to return home.

ill show mommy.

2010-09-20T20:48:00.002+08:00

raison d'etre-everybody's gotta have one.

1. finish up on your mll334 exam notes
2. finish your internship appt
3. sleep

le sigh x 1000000

she's telling me to get high!

2010-09-13T22:19:00.002+08:00

enery giver//energy taker

2010-09-07T18:59:00.002+08:00

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” Ephesians 4:29

When I was younger I used to have a friend whose name was James. James was a simple but easy going guy. He was intelligent, he loved reading and he was handsome. He used to be a member of a larger group of friends that had stayed together from high school. Even during our university years, where our social circles exploded, we still continued to go out together and consider our group as an active one. But slowly, slowly the other guys started to get colder with him.

It took me some time to pinpoint the source of awkwardness. James was the guy that would never talk too much. For example he would never initiate the conversation and he would never say what he had in mind. But still he would call you almost everyday and he would ask you 'What's up ? What news, man ??? '.

As years passed, everyone in the group seemed to evolve to a new, more colorful character. Some passed the point of being interesting and entered the domain of being 'strange' but still they could not pass unnoticed when you had them in front of you. All except one. James. When he was out for a beer with us, he would never offer something to the group. He kept repeating something that someone else had already said, he never shared any stories and he never held our attention for longer than a minute. He was just sitting there, waiting to be entertained. Then one day I realised that if I didn't make an effort for the conversation, our interaction was doomed to fade out: He was too bored. Many years have passed since then and I am still a good friend with almost everyone in that group. All except one. James. He is no longer a member of the group and now I know WHY.

People like you because of the way you make them feel.

So let's picture this. Imagine that you are a part of group of seven friends that are sitting in a bar and they are having a cool beer. In that group one or two persons will be doing the talking. He and the persons that are actively participating in the conversation are the ones that offer positive energy. The others, the ones that are just listening - they are the absorbers. In a good group of friends, persons will be alternating roles all the time. You cannot talk all the time.

The ways to offer energy in an interaction can be counted with the fingers of a hand that has been playing with firecrackers:

1 - Story telling. 'Thou cannot believe what happened to me lazt week when I went to get my tongue pierzed...'

2 - Humour. Any use of humour ( canned or improvised ) is a great way to make people in the group feel happy. '... So the hippie grandson gets back to the house and asks his grandmother. "Hey granny have you seen my LSD stickers ???". Then his granny answers: "Forget the stickers my grand son. Can you tell me what on earth will we do with the dragons that we have in the kitchen ??".

3 - Positive thinking. Just be positive and enthusiastic (to a certain extent..).
4 - Participate in the conversation even if you don't feel that the subject is interesting. Learn how to have a small talk and how to chat about things that don't seem very important. "... and personally I love lager beer because the taste reminds me the first day I licked a...".

5 - Have a positive non verbal language AKA boooooooody language. This is a bit of a long chat but remember that your body language influences the others subliminally. So if you have a grumpy body language they will start to feel strange and it won't be long since they will anchor that feeling with the boring guy sitting next to them.

6 - Listen actively. Make the other feel that you are listening to what they are saying. Then give your opinion.

7 - Engage the mind of your friends with tricks, magic, logic games or interesting news that you've picked up from somewhere. If on the other hand....

1 - You sit back without making any of the above, if you don't give a damn about the interaction or if you wait like a prince for 'something interesting to happen' ...

2 - If you make negative and toxic jokes about someone in the group ALL the time ...

3 - If you offer non positive feelings to the group with any other wicked way that we cannot think about right now... Then ... you are stealing energy from that group. And the ones that feel the toll the most are the energy givers. They feel that they have to talk all the time to keep the group going, they feel like they have to perform and this drains them completely.

Every person has only a certain amount of positive energy to give every day. Let's say that for some is 10 euros and for others is 23 dollars. How should she or he invest them? Should she throw them all in a black hole and take nothing back? Or should he offer them at a group of givers that will give him back another 20 euros ??

This is the reason why givers become so popular and have multiple solutions for what will they do, not only Saturday night, but every other night of the week. While, on the other hand, energy takers end up with a few boring friends. For those among you that are givers and you feel that someone from your environment is draining you out, remember that you have the right to leave him and walk away. You cannot be there always to feed him with energy all the time.

He must wake up and understand that IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO. Are you shy? Are you introverted? It's OK to be shy but please ... DON'T be lazy. It is one of the most insulting things you can do to someone. Make an effort for the interaction.

by happybrainstorm.com

2010-09-06T21:51:00.003+08:00

dont forget the ones who were there on your way up.
dont forget the ones you love or the ones who love you.
dont forget you're amazing, just the way you are.

oblivious.

2010-08-26T14:37:00.003+08:00

we heart it.

i cant decide whether im more hurt, or unhappy.
so ive chosen to ignore.

love & other drugs.

2010-08-24T21:07:00.000+08:00

mind games

2010-08-22T21:36:00.004+08:00

from bloodymotherfuckingasshole

i am determined to be happy. i cant wait till october.

2010-08-21T18:51:00.002+08:00

love like any living creature needs to be fed. crazy innit?
happiness is right where you left it.
xx

loved it when i heard it.

2010-05-19T20:22:00.003+08:00

And I just can't keep living this way
Sooo starting today, I'm breaking out of this caaaaage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now!

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
for you, so I could come back a brand new me you helped see me through
And don't even realize what you did, believe me you
I been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
my world, haters can make like bees with no stingers
and drop dead, no more beef lingers
No more drama from now on, I promise ...

Cause I'm raising the bar
I'll shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazin at stars
I feel amazing and I'm

X eminem X

why does it feel so good?

hiatus post

2010-05-02T13:39:00.001+08:00

Olivia from Stylelikeu.com from Stylelikeu on Vimeo.

Siena Fleming from Stylelikeu.com from Stylelikeu on Vimeo.

love these vids - i can replay them over and over again. xx

this is the beginning,

2010-04-05T19:25:00.005+08:00

emo again but this time, im better at hiding it. im cheating myself into thinking ive changed, but as much as things have changed, all things remain the same. i love it, i cant help it, i want it, i fear it, i avoid it, i look for it -i just got better at hiding it.

almost perfect

2010-03-27T21:01:00.005+08:00

i dont know why girls love strong characters, myself included.
doesnt matter if that same boy was a dick, they still fall in love nevertheless.
i realized my priorities have changed since 8 years ago
the shallow has become incessantly more shallow?
perhaps, and maybe the focus has diverted a little as well.
i only realized after today.

i really love a quirky & interesting guy,
with a great sense of humour and can make me laugh
who can dish out the right jokes/teases and take my mean jokes too
(good comebacks & mini fights are necessary)
a little bit sensitive & emotional so i know whats going on in their mind
(jealous but not over the top)
who is a little bit of a baddy outside but a wholesome sweetheart on the inside
who backs me up even though i am so goddamn wrong and lying through my teeth
who makes me feel like im over the moon delirious everytime after we speak
with a strong character and knows how to put their foot down when necessary
knows the right things to do at the right time without me asking for it
and makes me feel like im being treated exactly like how any girl should be treated, with respect

i know this list seems so perfect but i found it before
and i know for sure ill find it again.
and this is why some of us stay friends,
some go the extra mile to be good friends
but only one goes the full mile.
its the non existent feelings in between that tells a story
and its a journey in itself.

i also know that sometimes, well im constantly talking about love all the time.
although not anymore -not sure why
but i can tell you the reason why i used to.
life isnt beautiful without love to be honest.
but as much as i want to find this love, im not willing to settle.
honestly, it doesnt take much to impress me.
what i really appreciate is the art/skill to flirt, tease and have good comebacks
a suave man and touche, hook, line, sinker.
why?
because it shows that you're really interesting and that you've actually put effort in finding out about the opposite sex.
i guess thats why its called the game of love.
so its true and the story goes, nice guys finish last.
oh, and i quote 'nobody likes a pussy.'

i havent found this guy yet but im waiting to fall head over heels.

gerrreat.

2010-03-16T07:38:00.006+08:00

im trying not to be the person i grew up to be because honesty apparently doesnt get you very far. instead, i am trying to be the person i want to become. i never realize that it would be this difficult though, to be expressive. yet it is something which is required in today's society. the fact that many people tell me i should be more expressive but this 'expressiveness' in connotation marks has limitations and should be done in an acceptable and appropriate manner. how does one then identify what is this appropriate mannerism/form of expression?

i also realize that humans are by far the most complex creatures, fraught with emotions. i have a lot to learn. although, i am starting to think maybe i am better off as a housewife. only cz im lazy xx

some boys are meant to be eye candy, other boys are bffs, and only the rare one tends to stick like -goooey sticky taffy

toodles xx

shortpost.

2010-03-07T08:31:00.004+08:00

source. ps

10 things i hate/love about you.
1. i love champagne & magners
2. i love running in the mornings
3. i love being busy/keeping entertained
4. i love work
5. i love
6. i hate gossip/gossiping
7. i hate working too much
8. i hate sugar in my latte
9. i hate hailstorms/flashfloods
10. i hate

off to grab coffee then heading to work. bye!

conversation builder.

2010-02-28T07:45:00.001+08:00

Imba is used mostly in online games or games that have patches or different versions. Imba means that something is imbalanced and should be "nerfed" or made worse. When something is imba it means that is is too good and it makes the game unfair.

im getting better at lingo every single day.

2010-02-20T23:47:00.002+08:00

come to me
the moon is closer than your eyes
i can barely see through the cracks
light shines out of my scars
siren screams in vain
i have already died a million times inside

I surrender
shoot me down
no bullet could
stop me now
my love does not depend
on anyone or anything
itll never die

im ticking like a timebomb
soon to blow away
i am not you
you are not me
it still plays
i could say i love you
if only for a day
my mind sunk this ship
i am drown in it

donnoh what im feeling right now but...

im currently lusting for Elise Whipstitch Bag in black.
http://www.witchery.com.au/www/136/1001127/displayproduct/elise-whipstitch-bag--5112793_bags--1961665_.html

nites
xx

39 ways to show your love.

2010-02-14T18:25:00.003+08:00

...Once a week

1. Fight (a little). Getting your grrs out keeps small annoyances from snowballing. Britain's longest-married couple proves it: Together 81 years, Frank and Anita Milford say their secret is "a little argument every day."

2. Walk hand in hand. Even just to your car after an evening at Waffle House.

3. Compliment each other. This one's a daily to-do, if you can. There's no nice thing that's too small to mention: his excellent taste in music, the way he always opens the door for you — it's all worth a verbal love tap. And he will swoon.

4. Make love (obviously). But also ...

5. Have generous sex. You need at least one sexual connection a week that's all about pleasing the other person. (Dear busy people: Feel free to multitask and make this the sex from before. Same goes for this next one ...)

6. Sleep together before work. Put down the straightening iron and heat things up this way: "Weekday morning sex is the secret sauce in a relationship," says Tristan Coopersmith, 33, coauthor of Menu Dating.

7. Get into bed and ... sleep. "Sometimes the best thing a couple can do to ignite their passion for each other is sleep," says Hillsborough, New Jersey, sleep expert Carol Ash. If you two aren't in the sleepover stage yet, co-napping has been known to work wonders too.

8. Let something go. Argue over the stuff that matters, but once a week let him (and yourself) off the hook for things that don't: Yes, he chews his popcorn loud. No, it won't kill you.

9. Laugh really hard. Laughter is a relationship's Krazy Glue: It bonds you. Uninspired? Fast-forward to the chest-waxing scene in The 40-Year-Old Virgin, or send him something snortworthy from funnyordie.com.

... Once a Month

10. Be do-gooders. Volunteering together (even just helping a friend move) bonds you because you're ID-ing "common values," says Elizabeth Lombardo, a psychologist in Wexford, Pennsylvania.

11. Do something scary. Been together a while? A pounding heart mimics the rush of brand-new love, says Patti Wood, an expert on nonverbal communication in Atlanta. Fly in a balloon, or order the sweetbreads for two!

12. Talk about money. Whether it's "Should we open a joint account?" or just, "Hey, let's split the bill tonight."

13. Brag publicly about him: his fearless pursuit of the mouse in your kitchen, the armful of hydrangeas he surprised you with, the raise he landed even in this economy. Surely once a month you can think of something that'll make him blush in front of your friends. He'll probably get you back too.

14. Declare something "this stays in Vegas." A silly nickname, or a crazy bedroom mishap. Share something intimate, then pull the couple bubble around you tightly.

15. Be the man. Not literally, but if your guy always initiates dates, romance, whatever, take the lead for once. Christina, 26, of Jersey City, New Jersey, likes to ask her husband out on formal dates: "I've even brought him a red rose."

16. Disappear together. Hike somewhere AT&T can't find you (and thus your mother, your boss and his needy friend Bob can't find you either). No woods? Any time spent totally alone together — a long drive, even — will do the trick.

17. Disappear alone. We're not advocating game-playing, exactly. But in this world of 24/7 availability, it can be good for your relationship to each have some solo time. Afterward, you'll feel recharged, like the free-spirited single girl he fell for once upon a time.

18. Go to a party! And mingle separately. It screams confidence and makes the after-party rehash even sweeter.

19. Have sex some way you've never had it before. A worthy challenge, whether you've been together 10 days or 10 years. Try a new position or play out a fantasy. Doesn't matter whether it's really new to you, as long as it's new to you as a couple.

... Once a Year

20. Build a doghouse. Or restore a Firebird. Or, OK, sew matching Star Trek costumes. Any team project "is fantastic bonding," says Wendi Forrest, owner of Time for Nine, a golf dating service.

21. Now get the dog. Or at least a plant. Anything that'll grow with your love.

22. Say the tough thing. The dark family secret. The crazy career dream. If you can't confess to your significant other, then who? (Hey, you think Barack never said to Michelle way back when, "This may sound nuts, but I think I want to be president someday"?)

23. Cancel Valentine's Day and invent your own lovey-dovey holiday. Lobsterfest 2010, anyone?

24. Fall apart. You can't schedule this. But it's important that you each know, via experience, that you can completely, utterly lose your grip — weep over a bad haircut, threaten to leave your job after a nutso day, have a wrenching fight with your mom — and not lose each other.

25. Don't. Get. Up. At least once a year, break open some bubbly, disable the Wi-Fi, and don't get out of bed for the weekend.

26. Talk birth control. Not so sexy, but potentially life-changing. Would a different method work better? Is it his turn (or yours) to take primary responsibility? And where are you on the whole kid issue, anyway?

27. Re-kiss your first kiss. All timid and hopeful ... and wonderful.

28. Write each other. New Orleans newlywed Rebecca, 32, was inspired by her husband's uncle, who writes his wife every Christmas: "One letter may not seem like much, but after 30 years it's a wonderful record of their lives."

29. Think back on all the reasons you fell for him, whether you've dated for a year or a decade. Some will be big (his extra-dry sense of humor); some will be small (his love of argyle). Make sure you tell him, and remind yourself. Hello, butterflies! There you are again.

... And Once In a Lifetime

30. Get lost together in a foreign country.

31. Damn the cost and go do the dream.

32. Get intimate someplace you might be discovered.

33. Suffer through food poisoning together.

34. Go to each other's "fun" high school reunions.

35. Pay off the mortgage!

36. Come back from the brink of a breakup even stronger.

37. Together, convince a skeptic pal to believe in love.

38. Have a poor phase. Maybe a rich phase, too.

39. Count the stars. Know your love is one in a billion.

HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY!

source: glamour.com, some lj.

Mom, I dont wear pants.

2010-02-13T12:32:00.010+08:00

I have a huge weakness for tights, leggings and short dresses.
Weather could be a huge factor, layering could be another. hm, I dont know.

Anyway, do you see the progression?
For those that dont know me, I dont vary all that much.
Most of my clothes are either black, white or grey, sometimes a little bit of red, with either polka dots, hearts or stripes.
Why? - Mainly because I for one suck at colour coordination & its simpler to just add prints.

Im so happy. I hope the small size doesnt sellout whine*

American apparel heart tights

American apparel shiny peach leggings

Supre polka dot dress in black

Supre polka dot dress in navy blue

Lucky for me American apparel & Supre are just up the road (:
Now I cant wait till exams are over so I can go buy them! FML how exciting!

Also, as a huge foodie lover, I must try this:
A macaron or French macaroon is a confectionery whose name is derived from an Italian word “maccarone” meaning paste.[1] It is meringue-based: made from a mixture of egg whites, almond flour, and both granulated and confectionery sugar.

The confectionery is characterized by its smooth, domed top, ruffled circumference, and flat base. Connoisseurs prize a delicate, egg shell-like crust that yields to a moist and airy interior. The French macaroon differs from other macaroons in that it is filled with cream or butter like a sandwich cookie, and can be found in a wider variety of flavors that range from the traditional (raspberry, chocolate) to the exotic (foie gras, truffle). Making macarons requires a great deal of discipline and is a process that is highly dependent on exactitude, technique, and proper equipment. For this reason it is a notoriously difficult recipe to master and a frustrating endeavor for the amateur baker.[2] Source: Wikime.

Laduree, based in France.

Anyway, so I checked up on where these babies are sold here. Only to find that macarons (not to be confused with macaroons) are not very popular here. sigh. The only places which apparently make these well are Lindt cafe and Cafe Vue. So after exams imma get myself some macarons.

So beautiful I WANT ALL THE COLOURS! SEE!!
http://www.lindt.com/au/swf/eng/chocolat-cafe/cafe-collection/delice-collection/
I think pistaschio looks the best.

Lastly, I just want to take some time to wish everyone a HAPPY CNY! DRIVE SAFE!

2010-02-08T05:16:00.004+08:00

im miles from where you are.

contingency plan.

2010-02-06T20:41:00.003+08:00

How to measure the successes in your life? Is it through your achievements, the amount of money you make/have, the lifestyle you lead, or the best clothes you own?

I cant believe that in a blink of an eye, another new year has begun. As the new year rolls around, I began to list what I wanted to achieve for 2010. The results were pretty much the same as the lasts. Does this mean I haven't achieved anything worth mentioning in the lasts few years?

Truthfully, I thought about this question for a long time last night. I couldn't exactly remember the past few years. In particular, I can't even exactly say I truely remember what I did during that time. And to be honest, I think the best part about those few years was the fact that I couldn't remember any of it. Obviously, my memory or rather the memories are still there but I would not have much recollection of those times if I hadn't taken any photos.

Mil was speaking to me today & she told me how XX can fk with a person's mind. I questioned myself and her and wondered if it were true. Am I more anxious now or changed into a different person completely? I'm not sure. I used to say that things in the past, had I not done any of those, I wouldn't be as strong of a person as I am today. Today, I'm not as sure anymore.

As I begin this new year, I think its time I scroll through that list I made several years ago and begin to tick the boxes as I prod along. I don't want to be left behind and seeing as I am clueless about what I want my career to be in the future, I should really sit down and think about ways on how NOT to waste time. I am after all a master procrastinator.

I really hope I haven't lost myself after all that I've gone through. If not, all that I am doing now will be a waste of time. All I know is in the midst of all my wants, what I really need is to be home with family and as time draws nearer, I am curious to see what my decision will be.

ampifyme xx

pkfaced.

2010-01-27T21:32:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, I was just having a look at the chanel store & i saw the white bag which i want. So anyway, today i decided that maybe I could/should layby it. I mean Ive been working heaps and i guess i can put a down payment and pay it off slowly in the next couple of months...smart thinking right? not. Guess what I received in the mail today? BILLS. effin car rego, insurance, parking permit. all up 2k. thank you very much. there goes my down payment for x1 chanel bag. Anyway, its been some hectic weeks! I didn't realize I was working 3 day weeks/rushing assignments & procrastinating whilst trying to study. Need to up my ante. btw, andy is such a cutey. xx

ps. j, if you read the last msg widgie, u'd find that the bitch aka me gets a free rose. can i request for baby pink? (:

source: ps, lj, panotes, mycamera.

bffs

2010-01-16T18:24:00.010+08:00

burrberry ss10 i love you. give me your skirts&dresses.

the mad race.

2010-01-14T12:57:00.006+08:00

did you guys read about the earthquake in haiti?
or that churches around malaysia are being targeted for hate crime?
what about the recent attempted bombings which caused an uproar amongst different countries?
canada and nz have both increased their airport security in attempts to combat terrorism.
what is the world turning into and when will it stop?
it seems as if we are losing the battle against both mother nature and the fanatics.

the world used to be a better place, 10 years ago.
i remember i used to be able to go to parks without any quelms.
now, i dash out to my car whilst looking left and right and once immediately inside, i lock myself in.
i curious to see whats going to happen in the next 10 years?