donnoh okay

10.58pm, you are online again.
and im playing cat and mouse.
sigh.



I don't mean to be decadent
I might sound like a hedonist
But the simplest way I can put it
You become a habit
The more I consume, the more I gotta have it
Ain't no such thing as too much
If you gave me everything it'd never be enough yeah
My black coffee with sugar no cream in the morning
You're my super double caffeine dream yeah

Your precious darkness got me so
Strung out and lovin' the way that you
Got me so wide open, my baby doll
Jonesin' and fienin' under my skin
My nerves are screamin' when you're not here
See baby I need ya sugar
You're so delicious

There is somethin' about your love
That makes me just want to open up
Your flavor is the sweetest thing in life
I'm addicted to your chocolate high
Cause I want you, and I know that you want me
So let's stay close like we supposed to be
And just get high off our own supply
I'm addicted to your chocolate high
xx

im going to sleep.

random.

sorry, i got a lil carried away. so the camera was bit shaky. teehee.

ps. who knows this song?!?!?! I LOVE IT!



3oh3 & all things green.


rabbi.

tribute picture to km&dan. im coming!!! WAHAHAHAHA so happy!!!!! (:::


random signage as a passerby.


3/4 of my shoe collection (:

anyone doing anything on halloweeen?!?!?
im dressing up as minnie!

ILOVE YOU BEST FRIEND!

toodles xx

new moon.

"No! This is about my soul, isn't it?" I shouted, furious, the words exploding out of me -somehow it still sounded like a plea. "Carlisle told me about that, and I don't care, Edward. I don't care! You can have my soul. I don't want it without you- it's yours already!"

It will be as if I never existed. The words ran through my head, lacking the prefect clarity of my hallucination last night. They were just words, soundless, like print on a page. Just words, but they ripped the hole wide open and I stomped on the brake, knowing I should not drive while this incapacitated.
xx

It was so wrong to encourage Jacob. Pure selfishness. It didn't matter that I'd tried to make my position clear. If he felt any hope at all that this could turn into something other than friendship, then I hadn't been clear enough.

How could I explain so he could understand? I was an empty shell. Like a vacant house-condemned-for months I'd been utterly uninhabitable. Now I was a little improved. The front room was in better repair. But that was all-just one small piece. He deserved better than that -better than a one-room, falling down fixer-upper. No amount of investment on his part could put me back in order.

pg.270
"Go home Bella. I can't hang out with you anymore."
The silly inconsequential hurt was incredibly potent.
The tears welled up again. "Are you....breaking up with me?" The words were all wrong, but they were the best way I could think to phrase what I was asking. After all, what Jake and I had was more than schoolyard romance. Stronger.

pg.271
"Im sorry that I couldn't....before....I wish I could change how I feel about you, Jacob." I was desperate, reaching, stretching the truth so far that it curved nearly into the shape of a lie. "Maybe...maybe I could change," I whispered. "Maybe, if you give me some time...just don't quit on me now, Jake. I can't take it."

His face went from anger to agony in a second. One shaking hand reached out towards me.

pg. 273
The pity made it final somehow. I didn't comment.

Not as bad! Not as bad! My mind tried to comfort me. It was true. This wasn't as bad. This wasn't the end of the world, not again. This was just the end of what little peace there was left behind. That was all.

Not as bad, I agreed, then added, but bad enough.

I'd thought Jake had been healing the hole in me -or at least plugging it up, keeping it from hurting me so much, I'd been wrong. He'd just been carving out his own hole, so that I was now riddled through like Swiss cheese.

pg.371
I thought I knew how Juliet would feel.
She wouldn't go back to her old life, not really. She wouldn't ever have moved on, I was sure of that. Even if she had livedf until she was old and gray, every time she closed her eyes, it would have been Romeo's face she saw behind her lids.

What if there were more to Paris?
What if Paris had been Juliet's friend? Her very best friend? What if he was the only one she could confide in about the whole devastating thing with Romeo? The one person who really understood her and made her feel halfway human again? What if he was patient and kind? What if he took care of her? What if Juliet couldn't survive without him? What if he really loved her, and wanted her to be happy?

And...what if she loved Paris? Not like Romeo. Nothing like that, of course. But enough that she wanted him to be happy, too?

If Romeo was really gone, never coming back, would it have mattered whether or not Juliet had taken Paris up on his offer? Maybe she should have tried to settle into the leftover scraps of life that were left behind. Maybe that would have been as close to happiness as she could get.

I sighed, and then groaned when the sigh scraped my throat. I was reading too much into the story. Romeo wouldn't change his mind. That's why people still remembered his name, always twined with hers: Romeo and Juliet. Thats why it was a good story. "Juliet gets dumped and ends up with Paris" would have never been a hit.

pg. 547
"So eager for eternal damnation," he muttered.
"You know you don't really believe that."
"Oh, don't I?" he fumed.
"No. You don't."
He glowered at me and started to speak, but I cut him off.
"If you really believed that you'd lost your soul, then when I found you in Volterra, you would have realized immediately what was happening, instead of thinking we were both dead together. But you didn't -you said 'Amazing, Carlisle was right," I reminded him, triumphant. "There's hope in you, after all."
For once, Edward was speechless.
"So let's both just be hopeful, all right?" I suggested. "Not that it matters. If you stay, I don't need heaven."
He got up slowly, and came to put his hands on either side of my face as he stared into my eyes. "Forever," he vowed, still a little staggered.

I doubt I need to wager my bets on whether this movie will be good.

hum-dee-dum

sometimes im so impulsive i hate myself for it.
on the upside, it makes me so happy, its disgusting.
can someone be disgustingly happy that it annoys those less happy?
is it so ironic that everyone around me reads me like a fkn children's novel -that's novelty in itself.
gosh, id love to share my stories one day.
but for now, today, im happy just being oblivious to the world
gotta love being carefree
toodles
xx

edit: time, 10:25 pm.
i saw my liquid dreams become reality.
i never should have gone online.
how long can i avoid?
:(

twilight.

"Okay then." I glared at him, and continued slowly. "Let's say, hypothetically of course, that...someone...could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know -with a few exceptions."

"Just one exception," he corrected, "hypothetically."

"All right, with one exception, then." I was thrilled that he was playing along, but I tried to seem causal.

"How does that work? What are the limitations? How would...that someone...find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know she was in trouble?" I wondered if my convoluted questions even made sense.

"Hypothetically?" he asked.

"Sure."

"Well, if..that someone..."

Let's call him 'Joe,'" I suggested.

He smiled wryly. "Joe, then. If Joe had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."

"We were speaking of a hypothetical case," I reminded him frostily.

He laughed at me, his eyes warm.

"Yes, we were," he agreed. "Shall we call you Jane?"

"How did you know?" I asked, unable to curb my intensity. I realized I was leaning towards him.

best passage ive read by far. i fell in love.

scandal.

i fell in love.

fb is not my friend

pls somebody teach me how to check fb without getting depress?
just one more day then i can let my emotions devour my soul kk
xx


ps. im going to 3oh!3 and sia concert. uber excited!
and i want nude patent shoes. already decided which too. hoho.

hehe.

so cute right??
looks like me WAHAHAHAH
ok studying makes you crazy X_X

toodles
xx

greetings

I AM CAPRICIOUS k(:

ps. to my lovely, happiest bday. i miss you with warmest regret. i owe u one tff whee* mish yoo xx
pps. im hungry :(

i realize,

ITS THE SILENT GUNS WHICH GOES BOOMBOOMxx

[edit]
btw, my friggin jaw hurts like a motherb*tch
my face is swollen like a friggin watermelon.
3 of my molars are crying "let me out".

ps. mommy is listening but cant do shit at the moment.
any suggestions on the blue pill/the red one?

somebody phish take away the pain.
i need to stop popping advils :(

i need a smoke xx

Dalai lama instructions for life

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three res.
a) Respect for self,
b) Respect for others, and
c) Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon.

eminem.

this is one of the best marketing schemes ive seen. pr ppl pls take note xx

fkn awesome song, eminem



Walk my shoes, just to see
What it's like, to be me
All be you, let's trade shoes
Just to see what I'd be like to
Feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each other's mind
Just to see what we find
Looking shit through each other's eyes

I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humor
Everything is so tense and gloom
I almost feel like I gotta check the temperature in the room
Just as soon as I walk in
It's like all eyes on me
So I try to avoid any eye contact
Cause if I do that then it opens a door to conversation
Like I want that...
I'm not looking for extra attention
I just want to be just like you
Blend in with the rest of the room
Maybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need fu-cking man servin'
Tryin to follow me around, and wipe my ass
Laugh at every single joke I crack
And half of them ain't even funny like that
Ahh Marshall, you're so funny man, you should be a comedian, god damn
Unfortunately I am, but I just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit down
Listen to the tale I'm about to tell
Hell, we don't have to trade our shoes
And you don't have to walk no thousand miles

badass xx

Forbes 400.

aku masih ada masa melayar internet.

forbes 400.com

America's superrich are getting poorer. For only the fifth time since 1982, the collective net worth of The Forbes 400, our annual tally of the nation's richest people, has declined, falling $300 billion in the past 12 months, from $1.57 trillion to $1.27 trillion.

Hurt the most: Warren Buffett, America's second-richest citizen. The Oracle of Omaha dropped $10 billion from his personal balance sheet as shares of Berkshire Hathaway ( BRK - news - people ) fell 20% in 12 months. He is now worth $40 billion.

Beating out Buffett for the 16th straight year as America's richest man is Microsoft ( MSFT - news - people ) co-founder Bill Gates. Sluggish Microsoft shares and declining outside investments pushed the software visionary's net worth down $7 billion in 12 months.

Rounding out the top 10 on The Forbes 400: Oracle founder Larry Ellison ($27 billion); Wal-Mart ( WMT - news - people ) heirs Christy Walton ($21.5 billion), Jim C. Walton ($19.6 billion), Alice Walton ($19.3 billion), and S. Robson Walton ($19 billion); media maven Michael Bloomberg ($17.5 billion) and energy titans Charles and David Koch ($16 billion each).

The 10 richest Americans lost a combined $39.2 billion in the past 12 months, a 14% decline.

Other big losers include casino mogul Kirk Kerkorian, whose nest egg shed $8.2 billion in the past year. Shares of his gambling giant MGM Mirage ( MGM - news - people ) have fallen 90% from their October 2007 high.

Also hitting the brakes: Enterprise Rent-A-Car founder Jack C. Taylor. The rental car titan's fortune is down $7 billion in a year as the travel industry slows and private-company valuations fall.

The biggest gainer is banker Andrew Beal, who tripled his net worth to $4.5 billion buying up cheap loans and assets as the markets crumbled last fall.

Membership on the list was made easier as the price of admission dropped $350 million, from $1.3 billion last year to $950 million this year, paving the way for 19 new members and 19 returnees.

Newcomers to the list include Marvel Entertainment ( MVL - news - people ) chief Isaac Perlmutter, whose net worth soared to $1.55 billion after Disney ( DIS - news - people ) agreed to buy the superhero outfit in August for $4 billion in cash and stock.

Other new members include Bloomberg LP co-founder Charles Zegar ($1 billion), mapping-software magnate Jack Dangermond ($2 billion) and trading titan Steven Schonfeld ($1 billion).

Former New York lawyer and accountant Jeffry Picower makes his debut on The Forbes 400 with a net worth of $1 billion. A longtime investor with Bernard Madoff, he is likely worth billions more (Picower is alleged to have extracted billions of dollars from Madoff's fund before it collapsed).

Picower and his foundation are named in a lawsuit by the liquidator for Madoff's investment business, who is seeking to recover funds allegedly obtained through "fraudulent activity." Picower claims if he knew Madoff was a fraud he would not have transferred money into Madoff accounts.

In December 2008, the Picower Foundation shut down after losing its $1 billion endowment in Madoff's Ponzi scheme. The charity had given millions to MIT, Human Rights First and the New York Public Library. Picower made his first fortune selling medical device maker Alaris in 2004.

Among those returning is venture capitalist Michael Moritz, who rode Amazon's purchase of online shoe retailer Zappos and surging Google ( GOOG - news - people ) stock back onto the list.

Divorce forced Google exec Omid Kordestani from the rankings, while R. Allen Stanford lost his billionaire status when the feds froze his assets after charging him with allegedly running an $8 billion Ponzi scheme.

Several Forbes 400 mainstays also fell off the list, including former Citigroup ( C - news - people ) czar Sanford Weill, mall developer Matthew Bucksbaum and condo kingpin Jorge Perez.

Six members died, including glass giant William Davidson and newspaper maven Frank Batten Sr.

The Forbes 400 is a snapshot of wealth on Sept. 10, 2009. Gap ( GPS - news - people ) co-founder Donald Fisher, who ranks No. 296 on our list, died Sept. 27 at his home in San Francisco at age 81.

Current stock on the rise,
Citigroup
Jp Morgan
Bank of America

Ma, can i be so rich in the future? I wana work at Blackrock. whine*

...

Just waiting for proof that there's sunsets and silhouette dreams
All my sand castles fall like the ashes of cigarettes

currently loving this song.



I'm leaving you
I'm not sure if that’s what I should do
It hurts so bad
I'm wanting you but cant go back
Trying to find, to find
That all elusive piece of mind
Stuck here somehow
Shrouded beneath my fear
And now I don’t need it