how i wish i was once,

then maybe, then maybe things would be different.
then maybe, then maybe i would be happy.
i tried to be a better person only to realize that "trying" to be better isn't better at all.
i can't say for sure whether times have changed.
im getting older and as you grow older things change, people change.
looking back into the open "box", i like to term as pandora.
gosh, so many memories of how things once were -easy.
did i really change in this past 3 years?
i guess gradually, yet i feel much like how i once was, although a bit more confused.
i was so happy, happy fat, happy cute, didn't exactly seem to mind or care about the what lied beyond.
i saw pictures of my old high school, near and far.
were we united only through our schooling days?
so so many memories.
all the sticker photos we took kept in that little tiny box.
do you remember how we went bowling in geelong?
or sticker photo in sunway pyramid?
rowing 06, boarding house.
how we played with the sparklers?
do you remember the daisies?
or the card you sent me?
or giving me baby pictures to keep.
picture taking moments in church.
lovely hearts.
how i miss those.
how i wish i could reverse those moments to how it once were
how i wish i could reverse those moments to how i once was.
unfortunately, sometimes things don't go as planned.
and i guess the best i can do is to always keep trying,
constantly stay positive and rebuild x3
so now, im going to start trying.
how come life is suddenly infilterated with xmany profanity?
sigh.
xx